They Call Me Anteria...

"Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day and was initiated to honor the soldiers for the Union and Confederate armies who died during the American Civil War.

Celebrations honoring Civil War heroes started the year after the war ended. The establishment of a public holiday was meant to unify the celebration as a national day of remembrance instead of a holiday celebrated separately by the Union and Confederate states. By the late 19th century, the holiday became known as Memorial Day and was expanded to include the deceased veterans of all the wars fought by American forces. In 1971, Memorial Day became a federal holiday.

The original national celebration of Decoration Day took place on 30 May 1868. When Memorial Day became a federal holiday, it was given the floating date of the last Monday in May." Via publicholidays.us

Today is a day for remembrance of all those soldiers who have fought for their beliefs,  their country, their family and friends, their countrymen and women, and effectively, for you.

These men and women gave their lives so that we, people who take what these good people do for granted, can live free lives. Too many have lost their lives. Men and women have been made widows, children have lost mothers and fathers. Parents have lost children. Some one some where, has lost someone.

Every day, people die. Some for no reason, others for war and peace, protection. There are those who condemn soldiers for fighting. They forget that it is those very same men and women who fought and died to protect the protesters' right to protest.

My father, my brothers, my grandfathers and uncles are military They have come home. I didn't loose my chance to have a life with them. I don't pray as much as I should, but I thank god, every day, that they are home.

I cannot imagine the pain the others who are not as lucky must feel. My heart goes out to them.

Despite how you feel about war, fighting, your religious beliefs: our man and women fight for us. They fight for your right to own a home, go to school, walk the streets wearing what you want to wear, reading the books you want to read, marry who you want to marry. They fight for our constitution, our rights, our freedoms.

If you see a veteran today, shake their hand and thank them. Thank them for giving up so much for you, a stranger.  If you see a soldier's widow, tell them they are strong, and are not alone, and you appreciate their spouse's sacrifice.

Every day is memorial today, because we still have today.

We still have today because they fought to give us today.


Know a veteran or a soldier who didn't make it home? Or do you know someone who is still fighting? Post their name below so they will never be forgotten and so they will know how much they are appreciated.

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Here we are, nearly a month since the Split.

I'm still jobless. I still haven't quit smoking. I have finally cut down on the Dew. I have barely read a book or worked on my writing.

Starting over takes time. A lot of time. But I feel like one of those people that expects results within hours of starting something new. I want all the things to start NOW. I want to stop giving my headaches from stress.

I am so tired of being held under someone's thumb, asking for this or that. It's only recently that I've gotten a break on the job front.

I have signed up on Upwork as a freelancer. I take on work as a transcriptionist, editor, writer, and pretty much anything else I find that requires skills I know I have. My downfall is exprience right now.

Why is it that to gain experience you have to work, but you need experience to work? It's a never ending cycle of rejection, anger, and stress. *sigh*

I''m eeking by, from friends and family, but it's not supporting myself. I'm still relying on others to get me from day to day.

It's frustating, to say the least. I have this list that I like to look at every once and a while. A list of all the things I want: a nice house with a cozy reading corner, my dream kitchen. A 1967 Ford Mustang GT. A published novel. An english teacher.

So many things...and I wonder if I'll make it to see the day when I finally get all those things. I wonder if I'll ever get those things.

The trick is holding your head up, never giving up. Just keep on keeping on. But I really, really just want to put my head down. Get a little rest. just for a little bit.


Have you ever experienced a crshing moment of defeat? How did you get through it? Let me know in the omments below.

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I know it's a few hours late, but I'm going to give you a small update.

So this week is going to be stressful. A couple of reasons, but mostly because 1. I am going to quit smoking & 2. I am cutting back on my Mt. Dew intake.

Yes, I smoke, and yes, I'm addicted to Mt. Dew. They are my only vices and I turn into a royal bitch without them, but I am trying so very hard to get healthier.

I will also be posting a review this Wednesday on some of you all's old favorite: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Bad Beginnings. Unsurprisingly, this will be the first time I've ever read the series and...well, let's leave that until Wednesday.

On top of all of that, I have become a certified transcriptionist and am looking into a few online series publications. More news on that as I receive it.

Slowly, very slowly, things are coming together. I know it's going to take time to get into a rythm of things, but I'm trying my very best.

So to reiterate, this is week one of:
          1. quit smoking
          2. cut back on Dew
          3.Bad Beginnings review
          4. writerly work

If you want to know anything or have any questions, post below in the comments. I'd love to hear what you have to say!

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The past two weeks have been a scamble. A lot of changes have been made, and now I'm trying to piece everything back together.

I've been looking for a job, cleaning my dad's house, and tending to Lil Miss. Things are coming together, slowly but surely, but it's come at a price. I'm not the oly one paying it, and I absolutely hate the pain this has all caused.

But emotions aren't like a light switch. They can't be turned on or off at a person's will. There's not much I can do in that department, but I'm still here. Pushing forward.

Tody was supposed to be review day. Obviously, that's not happening this week. But it will happen, I promise. Next week, I swear. I have a few books waiting on my TBR list waiting to be reviewed.

Also, I'm going to start writing again. I want to bget back to Crystallised and Legacy. I also have a few other books I want to start writing. I'm still fleshing out the plans for those, but I'll keep you posted.

That's it for today. I'll be back Friday, if not then next Monday. Promise.

Happy Wednesday, lovelies.

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Unfortunately for you guys, you'll never know what I did. Ok, maybe a little.

I did something hard. I did something that hurt a lot of people. I tore my life in a hundred pieces and am now slowly piecing them back together.

My whole life I have worked for other people, taken care of other people, sacrificed for other people. I have been pissed off, pissed on, and sitting on limbo in regards to myself since I was 12 years old.

I didn't do what I did to hurt anyone. I wanted, needed, to figure myself out instead of just being a part of something. I needed to know who I am.

I have to learn to stand on my own two feet with no one holding me up. I need to learn to stand up for myself and my Lil Miss. I lost sight of that because I was afraid. Afraid to be alone, afraid I would fail. Afraid of hurting the people I care I care about.

Will it take a while? Yes. But is it worth it? On so many different sides.

I don't know where I'll end up, but I'm going to get there on my own.

So yes, I abandoned you guys for a while week, but it is not without a good reason. I will be posting regular scheduled posts next week, with updates on life, book reviews, and other little tidbits.

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